My 30th birthday is in a little over two months. Certain ways of thinking have evolved in the last year or two, things have both slowed down and sped up, and I can’t help but feel like the approaching number is a significant one.
Let me give you an example. Video games. I grew up in the golden age of games, and have spent many the hour shooting/jumping over/driving things. Games gave me epic symphonic scores and intricate, touching storylines at a time when I was just starting to read real books and listen to real music. Zelda, Shenmue, Fallout, Project Gotham, etc. These games were major influences for me at a time when the environment needed escaping, either through my PS1, my walkman radio (I’m just old enough)(it wasn’t actually a walkman) or a book. I even have a tattoo of Sonic the Hedgehog on my arm. So for me, games were concrete. Bedrock.
Wrong. A year or so back I completely lost interest. I don’t really know why. There’s a few titles coming out soon that made the dog raise its nose a moment, but no more.
TV; apart from GoT, meh. Watching films because “its a classic” or “your life is incomplete”. Pfft. I’ve not read a novel in a year. Plenty read, just no novels. FB is used as a tool to promote this blog. Newspapers are for crosswords.
I get a certain feeling of being drained when I immerse myself in mass media, like my energy is being sapped or my frequency is lowering. I wonder at how people must feel inside, being saturated with that all the time. Some people might sneer at that, but my path is clear, I have my coordinates locked, have you?
Another important evolution has taken place in my budo training. I’ve gone from twitchy punches and taxing kicks to (what feels like) effortless, flowing movements more akin to Tai Chi than any jujutsu inspired art. I make men twice my size fall down in front of me and, its easy and loads of fun.
It all comes with space in my mind. Ever the over thinker, I’ve found ways to switch it all off and take the time to look at a beautiful sky or listen to the wind hurrying through the leaves, sometimes even becoming the leaf, just for a moment. And this is happening more often than not now.
I believe it comes down to time. Perhaps I’m feeling a sense of mortality. I am looking at pensions and feeling a touch guilty for not exercising recently. You’d have thought having less time would incline one to rush more. Not so. I’m slowing the fuck down. You should join me, its marvellous.